The idea of being Made New has been a full reality in my life, it’s not just an idea or something that Jesus says, it’s a promise for our lives. I was dead in my sin but now I am alive and no matter what you have walked through, how far gone you feel, you can receive a new life in Christ.
When I was 14, my innocence was stolen from me. I had never been kissed, let alone had my hand held by a guy. That night a guy I liked “taught” me how to kiss and that one moment led to another until I was seemingly stuck in a situation that I didn’t plan for or felt I could get out of. You see, my father was emotionally absent and my mother was working hard to take care of both my severely autistic non-verbal sister and myself. During that time, my emotional need quota was running on negative zero so I found myself in many situations crying out for help and searching for my worth to be told to me. From that night forward it seemed like I had propelled into a snowball effect of finding my worth in men and substances.
Years went by as I lived in the reality that my body was the most valuable thing about me and my inner voice silenced by fear.
Then flash forward to 2010 when I allowed Jesus into my heart. I was so tired, so fed up with the reality I was living in- I wanted to give up. Jesus started to show me a new way, I began to see healthy relationships were possible and that my worth was found in Jesus. I decided to wait until marriage for sex, and yes, I did lose relationships through that, but as my yes to God became stronger, my no began to as well.
As my decision making became more confident, my dreams began to awaken and I was able to ask for things that God wanted for me all along. I began to recognize and receive the good God had for me and the original design he had created me as.
When I met my husband Mike, it felt as if God had placed him in my life as a image of how the Father sees me. I was able to see God through the pure and unconditional love of my husband. When I walked down the isle on our wedding day I truly felt whole, seen, and loved. Now, when I look at our beautiful daughter Pearl, I truly can’t stop dreaming up all the incredible things God has for her and who she is in Christ- How much more does the Father see in us!
When I allowed Jesus into my heart, it felt like He turned the light on in a house that had been pitch black for years. He gave me back my voice that had been silenced by fear and lies and restored me to my original innocence.
This transformation is what drives me, because I know if Jesus can turn the light on for me, He can do it for anyone. I worship freely and with confidence because of the freedom and confidence I have found in Jesus and I know that He has that available for everyone.
My desire is for every woman in NYC to experience their life made new. Every year we get to gather together at Daughters Conference and just by being in the room, the presence of God heals all things, redeems all things, brings everything from death to life.