day 38


When I moved to New York, I found friends through work and mutual acquaintances. I had plans almost every night. My schedule was full, but I felt completely empty. Seeking a relationship with God was the last thing I wanted to add to my growing to-do list. I didn’t feel worthy, and I didn’t know where to start. 

I first felt God’s presence after living here for two years. With arms raised high in worship for the very first time, I asked Him to heal old wounds and replace them with new joy. I asked for true friendships that run deep. I didn’t know what I was asking for at the time, but I trusted He would come through.

In my past, I felt the need to be strong. I struggled with vulnerability. Actually, I avoided it like a rat on the L train... I liked those surface level friendships because they were easy and light. God has shown me that He wrote my story to encourage others. Vulnerability is my weapon against the hold of the enemy. He placed people in my life that identified gifts I didn’t believe I was worthy of. I now listen to His still and small voice highlighting who needs love. He showed me how to use those gifts to serve those around me.

While I learned the joy of serving others, He taught me how to be served. He gave me friendships that saw beyond the false strength. He taught me the beauty of vulnerability. It’s not scary or intimidating - instead, it draws us nearer to Him. I see God’s love for me through the way we love and serve others. It’s so much greater than a full schedule. It’s greater than a surface level life. It’s greater than anything. 


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