day 35


I am constantly encouraged by the consistency of my fellow leaders here at C3 NYC. This impacted me immensely when I first started to attend. I remember going to my first service, not remembering the message, but remembering the warmth of the people. Pastor Filmore met me that Sunday, mentioned my name on stage (this is when I realized he was a pastor), called me the following Tuesday, and remembered my name the next time he saw me. Something felt different.

I soon began to go to Dinner Party. I remember saying a few words to some people during the “party” and totally going mute during the discussion. I had a fear of speaking in front of people that was gut wrenching, so much so that every time I had this inner burning in my soul to contribute, I felt a clamp over my mouth. Nevertheless, the leaders loved me as if I had been there for years and I decided that this was right where I needed to be. 

I consistently showed up and the leaders consistently poured into me. Something beautiful was happening. They may not have known but their encouragements, hugs, wisdom, and challenges led me to start fighting for my voice. Coming home after dinner party frustrated about stuttering and upset about not sharing my story led to me cry out to God to use me (a prayer I had shied away from for years). This became a post dinner party ritual, my own type of consistency.  

Naturally, this led me to start serving. Host team…what is that? I went where I was called…to the seats. I started experiencing God differently during this time. The Bible started to come alive. I remember thinking “what makes this atmosphere so alive?” I soon met the Holy Spirit. It was kind of hilarious to realize that He was in me the whole time. I was surrounded by leaders who were consistently moving in the Spirit while serving and that was creating a team and service atmosphere that bred heart transformation. It wasn’t an inauthentic consistency, but a consistency flowing from the Holy Spirit through leaders. 

 God’s love for us is simply consistent. Why don’t we always feel it?  The consistent leadership of others led me to experience the Father’s love when I was too selfish to see it. Once I started to feel the Father's love for myself, I no longer could let it stop with me. My consistency creates a beautiful flow of His love through me to someone else. Is consistency tough? My answer is absolutely. But somehow God never fails in this department. I’ve learned that God wants to love me and His spirt wants to guide me every day of my life. My biggest strength as a leader is not my consistency, it’s the Father’s consistency. Under His leadership is right where I need to be. 


C3 Brooklyn